Expectations: As Usual, The Unexpected

First off, I would just like to wish a happy 2010 to all of those who are out there reading this that I haven't already said this too. One of my many resolutions for this year is to boost the count of posts on this little handbook, so I hope that I will continue to have an audience that will stick with me as I actually get my bearings and start to put the information that you actually need a bit more experience to get.

Now how many of you were expecting that to open up the first post of the year? Those of you who were expecting me to put that up there when the new year rolled around, you are in a rut that many a decent spy have fallen into. Those of you who didn't expect a message like that to appear, you are in a better position. It might sound a tad bit silly when you hold this example into the light of what is trying to be taught here, however, it is still one of the best examples that I can come up with to illustrate the next major point I have to share.

Do not expect your enemy to do anything.

Now that might seem a bit confusing at first. How do you not expect your enemies to do anything? If they're heading towards the bomb cart that just happens to be a good distance away, surely I can expect them to keep running towards it. If their first point is being captured, surely I can expect them to try and force them off the point, if they are not setting up a secondary defence already. You might think that in all these situations, your enemy's movements might seem predictable, and you might expect them to make the next move that you see.

However, one thing that you have to keep in mind is that no one will ever think the way that you do. You might see a perfectly open path while your enemy sees a path that should never be travelled down. You might see your disguise as something that is the most logical person and place for the situation, yet your enemy might see through that disguise in a heartbeat. You might be willing to charge into that sniper in the corner, but your enemy might not have even seen them.

If you expect anything out of your enemy, you release yourself to their will. You might not think that they are controlling you in any way at that moment, but if you are willing to put enough trust in your enemy to try and have them live up to your expectations, then you are going to be in for quite a shock when your plans backfire and you find yourself heading towards the spawn room with a chopped off head and some missing limbs. If you manage to change continuously to your enemy's movements, not expecting them to do anything, you will remain in charge of the situation, and they will be the easiest targets you can find.

~Agent McSpy

Distractions And Diversions: Your Best Friends

We all know what happens when people get distracted. Whatever they're working on becomes secondary, losing almost any interest in it. Their attention span to anything else around them becomes close to nothing unless provoked. The best part of distractions, though, is that not a lot of people think anything else is going to be happening. With their lack of thought in that direction, our jobs are made easier on many accounts.

I'm sure I will be preaching to the choir here when I talk about the advantages of distractions. If the other team is intent on pushing a bomb cart next to our spawn, only looking forward to confront any and all threats that they think they will face, they will easily fall to our feet as our knife pierces every one of their backs. If we have one of our team members running around in front of them, spamming rockets or grenades every direction possible, then the other team is probably going to be so focused on them that the chance of them turning around as we approach for our kill are going to be quite slim. Distractions are probably the best thing that any spy can hope for on the battlefield.

The only problem with distractions is you've got to know when to take advantage of them. Sure, any distraction opens up a window of time for us to make our move and get out before anyone notices, but the problem is the length of that window. If they're dealing with a beginning soldier who has only two health left, they might not take that long to find him, and when you start to go in for the kill, the distraction will have already left. However, if a sniper is dealing with quite a few heavy weapons guys a moderate way away, their back will be exposed for a good while (unless they have the razorback, in which case, just shoot them).

Its going to be hard to choose when to make your move when you begin, that is guaranteed. Until you are able to pick out what's going to be a long enough distraction for you to stab at least one back and move out, you can expect life to be a little bit harder. However, when you finally develop the skill to approximate times, you're going to be a force that they won't have any hopes of reckoning with.

~Agent McSpy

A Spy's Textbook: How Not To Make A Textbook

I'm sure many of us spies out there, trying to pass on their skills and their experiences, have had thoughts about making a guide like this before. Most of us will probably think its a great idea, to throw our useless and meaningless words onto some sort of paper or virtual box, hoping that the "noob"-ish masses will learn from everything, and will be able to accomplish something other than to be used as cannon fodder.

However, there are many things that can go wrong with making a guide proposed like above. Commitment is something that lacks in most people that play the game these days, and that is the one skill that could be most needed when making a guide such as this one. If you sit there, thinking that the stupid thing is going to write itself, and all you have to do is close your eyes nodding while drinking a good glass of wine, listening to classical music in your French château, while wearing the most stylish suit of the time, then you are probably wrong. Only the odd case will ever have that happen to themselves, and they often extort it to the point where it breaks, and their little advantage over the rest of us will leave.

Unlockable Weapons: Two Watches and An Enemy's Mother

The 21st of May brought along an update that many people were looking forward to. With this update, we originally thought that they Sniper was going to be alone, with the introduction of the Huntsman and Razorback. However, day 4 brought us a surprising twist of events, as we were greeted by a rather suave looking man holding out a pocket watch, followed by a catalogue of items for the French Assassin, one of which was recently introduced as a collectable. Then, at the very end of the update, they also decided to announce a set of collectables that they would throw out to be given at random times, and those still have managed to stay out of my reach, ignoring the fact I've put in a lot more hours then people that ha- sorry, I won't go into this here.

Anyway, the three weapons that were released in the joint Spy and Sniper update are going to be covered here. I, although I constantly play Spy, have not had much time with these three weapons, as I have gotten far too accustomed to the regular, default weapons. If something isn't explained well enough here, then feel free to look beyond this guide until you're satisfied with your knowledge. Also, don't come to me saying that I'm wasting my time, and I should try all the new weapons. I've tried them, didn't like them, and moved on.

The Ambassador:
We all fell in love with this weapon first because of the glorious charm that it had engraved in the side of the barrel. Deep into the silver of this special revolver lays a depiction of one of the other team member's mother. We saw that, after the first incredibly accurate shot, that the accuracy of the gun decreases, enlarging the spread of the bullets that go flying towards the enemy, possibly causing a critical hit if a bullet were to hit the enemy's head. We also learned that, included with the loss of accuracy, there was a loss of speed in the gun, as every shot was a decent bit slower then what our beloved regular revolver was able to pull off.

Honestly, I don't know what people see in the gun. I feel that the lack of accuracy really depletes it's usefulness after that first shot is fired, and to get a decent shot out of it again, you need to wait for the gun to cool down to it's lowest spread before cracking another potentially head-shooting bullet. The lack of speed with the gun is something that I also am not a fan of, because if I have to run away from a Pyro, I'd rather cause as much damage as possible then try my luck getting a headshot and killing it that way. However, I know people that spend all their time working with this gun, and they can be rather good with it. But, to me, the regular revolver is the thing to become friends with.

The Cloak and Dagger/Dead Ringer:
Now then, both of these watches were announced on the first day where we found out about the Spy sharing the update with our head-hunting Austrailian 'mate' that we so much love to dominate. Both of these watches have their rather special abilities, one making you cloaked forever, while the other makes you cloaked for 8 seconds, but only after you get dealt damage while having it activated. I could spend a whole topic going through the proper way to use both of these watches to the best of your ability, but, again, I'm not a fan.

The Cloak and Dagger allows you to stand in one spot for as long as you want without being visible to the enemy. However, this can be a rather double edged sword. If you sit in a location too long, unless there is a stalemate, then you're going to be quite in the hole when the lines are adjusted as team members start rolling through. This also tries to convince you that you can stand in a relatively close spot and keep getting kills off of their team, because you are totally invisible, and you can just sit and watch them spy check. All of these false hopes, accompanied by the fact that it is advertised as the only watch that allows you to stand in the middle of a battlefield and not get noticed, just make me want to puke.

Then you come across a rather interesting piece of equipment, the Dead Ringer. I, personally, love the style of this watch, as it is a pocket watch. There have been many times I've looked at the model on FPS Banana, which turns your regular cloak watch into the DR pocket watch, and even one time I've been on the download button. That being said, the appearance of the thing is the only part of it that I like. First of all, you have to run out into the enemy, and let them get full glimpse of a spy before you're allowed to run behind them for the 8 seconds it allows. Not only that, but when your cloak is up, or when you tell it its up, then it emits a rather large sound, which usually tells the other team to look behind themselves. Its easy to know when there is a Dead Ringer spy around, and the most effective use for the watch I've seen is for annoying Engineers.

And so, there is my view on all three of the newer Spy weapons. I'm sorry that I don't really give you any hints in this one, and all the ones I did give you were hidden in my perpetual disgust, but I never really was thrilled with all of the things that they provide. I don't think I'll have another tutorial that is this negative, but we will just have to wait and see what happens, and what my next subjects become.

Until then, bon chance.
~Agent McSpy

Your First Weapons: The Classics

The basics of Spy are hard to break down right away. You have to know about everything, how long they last, how much damage they do, where the best locations are to stop using them, and all the while, knowing where every single enemy is on the battlefield so you don't get caught by accident. This is quiet a lot to take in, and in no way can these be split into one momentary tutorial and make you a suddenly great Spy. No, you have to start from the very beginning, with the first weapon you'll ever have out, and the first time you press M1.

The Revolver:
When you're not sneaking around enemies, trying to make it behind their lines, or perhaps when you're running away from the other team after killing a good few of them with your unexpected knifings, the revolver is your best friend. With a rather amazing bit of accuracy for a side arm, the basic weapon for a spy can hold up to 6 shots before having to be reloaded. Unless you're facing a medic healed HWG, this weapon can also take out a good bit of health, if not kill a straggler. In short, if you learn to control this weapon, you are easily on your way to killing a good few of the other team.

The basic gist of the revolver, despite its strength and usefulness, if to take out someone that you would not be able to take out by means of the knife. Running head first into a firing HWG with your revolver, will, most of the time, leave you in your respawn room, while running away from him and finding cover could give you a chance to hit him hard, and still make your way out. If you're being followed by a Pyro, cloaking will only encourage it to find you more and trying to knife it will usually leave you burnt to high respawn room. However, back-pedalling, firing your useful little sidearm at the mumbling abomination, could not only encourage it to break off its attack because of health, but could also give you a small chance to kill the beast before they manage to catch up to you.

The Electro-Sapper:
Your basic tool for destroying any of the other team's toys, the Electro-sapper is an odd, but useful, item to have in your pocket. Just approaching an enemy item and clicking your primary fire button will throw a sapper onto that piece of junk, and send its health into a falling spiral. However, be weary of enemy Engineers, who's wrench can hit off a sapper with two hits, and with one or two more can repair any of the damage you have done to it. Be sure that when you're sapping, the enemy is away, as you're cover is blown the second they see you attach the first one.

However, as much as I would like to go into the proper use for a sapper, it requires a post of its own. There are way too many variations on using it to throw into a post like this. I will probably be throwing in a specialized post about it later, either by its own, or with the Engineer killing guide.

The Butterfly Knife:
To a common Spy, this weapon is looked at as a decent alternative to your trusty Revolver, or as most would say now, the Ambassador. However, to a skilled Spy, one who knows how to get behind the enemy, this weapon becomes your life, and the enemy's death. If you approach an enemy's back and attack, the knife creates an instant kill, also known as a backstab. A kill where all you have to do is get behind the enemy and attack them once, not bad.

However, the success of this weapon is also based on how well you know to stealth around the place. It is, most of the time, useless to use it to attack an enemy by the front or sides, and it's damage output makes any other melee weapon put it to shame. Getting behind the enemy is another post, however, the knife probably doesn't need another post. If you can get yourself behind the enemy, and then attack them with it out, you're probably all set.

The Disguise Kit:
Back in the old days of TF2, this item used to be king. No one would expect their own team mate to come up behind them, and then randomly turn out to be an enemy and kill them. You'll also find it's use on friendly fire servers to be rather boosted, as no one wants to accidently kill their own team member. However, unless you're in either of these instances, your disguise kit will have seen better days.

The basic use of the disguise kit it to disguise yourself as someone else. You pull out a paper mask, put it over your fasionable ski mask, and you instantly appear, to the other team, like one of their own. However, as I've said, the concept of Spy Checking has become something most people practice regularly now. If you make even one suspicious move while disguised, you will be hit by the enemy and you probably will be killed. The disguise can, momentarily, fool an enemy, however, you better know when it is working. Most of the time, combining a disguise with a distraction will make people believe it, only if you're acting like one of them. I've yet to meet a team that won't spy check in the middle of an intense battle.

And there you have it, the introduction to your first weapons. Odds are I will probably go farther into each of these weapons if the need arises, but until then, a few of these look good. If you have any questions, you can try and find me in game or contact me by e-mail. If you manage to find me, [DAD]Agent McSpy, in game, you better make sure you're safe before you start talking.

Bon chance, mes amis
~Agent McSpy

Introduction: What Are We Doing?

Too many times I have seen a simple, untrained Spy fall to their untimely death, turning what was once a great opportunity into a frantic massacre. What could have been a simple attempt on one person's life ends up attracting half of the entire other team, making escape an almost impossible to reach dream. Even something as simple as the chance to take out a simple entrance for a teleportation network turn into a blood splattering gun fight, leaving the only possibility for escape a matter of respawning back in your base.

I am hoping that this little guide will be able to help those few that are lucky enough to read it. This will contain all of those useful tips that any spy is able to give, as well as a description of those things that can only be learned by experience. This will include as many tips on fighting the enemy hand to hand, as well as sneaking up on the enemy, and making sure you're not seen until that death camera takes a picture of you making your way home.

The question that I am expecting the most, however, is rather obvious. 'Why not make a Spy Tutorial Movie?' There are actually quite a few times where I've seen people that have listened to the movies and tutorials that get themselves in more trouble then the ones that didn't touch the things when they started. The problem with movies is that they burn hopeless ideas into your minds. The chance of coming up to someone that plays the exact same as the ones in the tutorials is pretty slim, and can often lead to a false sense of hope and skilfulness. If someone uncloaks behind an Engineer in a tutorial, and doesn't get caught, then anyone who watches it will have that image in their mind, and will think it works all the time. Remember, not everyone thinks the same, and, chances are, if you've watched the tutorial, so has everyone else.

Second problem I have with tutorial movies is something more about false hope then anything. With the tutorial movies, you never see the spy go from their spawn, behind the enemy, infiltrate their ranks, and make off with the kill. Often, in the tutorials, you're lucky enough to see them get into the position to get the kills. Tutorials are made to show how one elite spy is passing down their knowledge to the lesser ones, often only showing the parts that are easy to accomplish. I have yet to see a good one on how to get behind the enemy TO get to the positions so you can go through and relive those tutorials.

So then, I draw this introduction to a close. I will try and put up chapters whenever I am able to get them up, and will also be posting other random Spy notices as other posts. I hope that all of you that do end up reading this will be glad you did read this, and I will feel happy if I can see one person excel beyond their past records with some of the help I can provide them. Good luck, and try not to bloody your suit.
~Agent McSpy